The Fault In Our Stars .. Or is It

Fault_in_our_stars

Few days back I watched a movie based on a book “The Fault In Our Stars” being a romantic at heart, I loved how the two teenagers Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace suffering from cancer fell desperately in love with each other. I wonder how amazing it would be to love someone so passionately knowing that you have just the few days left here on earth until you part eternally. The plot got me thinking, weather the fear of death or paucity of time available made them love each other so dearly. What if these two people were not dying? What if they were healthy having seemingly endless time at their disposal like us? Would they have loved each other so madly? Would they have stayed together forever? Had there love been so selfless? if they had known that they were to live on and not die in a few days. Was death really the fault of their stars or a blessing instead, that made them see beyond the bounds of arrogance, selfishness and sheer laziness. In a bizarre manner death may have helped them to see what life had hidden from us healthy people.

Imagine if by some magical means, someone told us when we are going to die. Would it not change the way we labor across the  endless marathon of life? Would the feelings of mortality soften our frozen hearts allowing them be easily molded in love? Our eminent demise may surely clear away the enormous clutter of uselessness from the canvas of our daily lives. As each day, each breath, each step would then become a countdown rather than a monotonous repetitive biological necessity. Would we not cherish than to be in the warm embrace of the ones we love surrendering  our gigantic egos. I think death could simplify this apparently complicated equation of life, reducing it to a limited opportunity for experiencing true passion. In my opinion the two characters in the movie were lucky to have lived a small but loved life filled with passion rather than spending an eternal life lost in their selves.

But are we not all like “Augustus Waters” and “Hazel Grace” ourselves. Aren’t we all dying. We might not know when we will die, but we cannot deny our eventual extinction. We might die ten years from now, or the next year, next month, next week, next day, next hour or maybe even the next moment. Unlike those two, who were haunted by the stark realization of their fragile existence due to rampant cancer, we remain aloof of the ticking clock. Subconsciously, we have constructed a realm of immortality around our thoughts breeding self centered behavior for survival. While in essence we all know that even if the finish line is not visible , it does exist and this race shall end. Our condition may be worse than “Guss and Grace”, our naivety prevents us from living each moment as prize, cherishing each day as a gift until we run out of breathe. Our memorials might never be as heartwarming as “Augustus Waters” as we fail to love in our quest to live, until we die.

The Darkness Within

I walk on soil as none beneath

Has ever reigned the way I do:

Decayed, who fill the layers below?

Now grin epiphany at the show:

Ignored of who and what I am:

i weave   a fickle web of glee;

My pride, deludes the truth in me

A dream of peace is all I see:

I bloat within the shell I bear;

Denude the veil of vanity;

Expose the darkened flesh beneath

That reeks of plagued pomposity

Like twigs that soak the rain and swell;

At core betray utility

Narcissus like stared the pool till doom

My nemesis is jealousy

The noise inside has gagged my calm

Now rip me of this agony

If truth is what can set me free

Then burn me in humility

If pawn I am, thy will that moves

Then make me beg amnesty

If love is what you seek from me

Then show me your magnanimity