I think of myself as a regular reader. Ever since I started reading blogs I have come across some amazing pieces written by people whose conviction to their cause oozes out of each every word they write. While reading them I get teleported to this alternative reality where I can be a part of the writer’s world, see what she sees and feel what she dreams, an amazing experience in itself. While each blog gives me a different experience to cherish, yet some out of them stand well above the rest. They make you wonder what mythical powers the written word holds? How easily reading half a page of script created with emotional sincerity and simplicity can outweigh loads written on a subject. I am a romantic, I like to believe in fairy tales and unicorns and magic carpets. While rationality and logic might well be an absorbing topic, but it has failed to inspire me like “True Love” inspires me. If gauged under the spectrum of rationality the idea of love may not win a lot of accolades, yet the thought of loosing yourself for someone or something has an undeniable magical allure to it. Some may argue the duality in its nature, its fluctuation amongst the two poles of selflessness and selfishness but its existence as the purest and uncorrupted emotions experienced by human beings can never be debated.
A few days ago I read something that had been written for me by someone, someone I have loved all my life. Those few words roughly scribbled on a piece paper had an astounding impact on my soul; any effort to describe that effect in this post will be surely futile. The script judged from a literary perspective wasn’t the most articulate of written pieces, lacking fancy vocabulary, studded with syntax and spelling errors, an ordinary person might judge it as a poor effort, but not me. To me it was the most romantic love letter ever written to me by anyone. It expressed true love of a young girl, her most genuine feelings in the simplest of words. I am not sure whether you as a reader could experience the same joy by reading it or not, but me as an addressee of such a romantic letter surely felt humbled by the love that I have been blessed with.
I met this lady 8 years ago in a hospital in my home town. I remember that beautiful sunny winter’s day like the back of my hand. I am sure that the reminiscence of that day would always remain with me as one of my fondest memories till the day I am old, so old that all other memories have been wiped out from my head. I’ll try and hold on to this memory even if I have to give up every other thought that resides in my head. It was around ten in the morning; I had been up all night and really tired as my wife had been hospitalized the night before. I had always thought that I loved my wife, and nothing and no person ever could change that. But that day when I saw this girl lying on her bed right next to my wife’s; my heart skipped several beats. I stood in amazement of her beauty and calmness. We didn’t know each other so well back then, we had never met before, but the very first moment I saw her I felt like a sea of love tossing inside my heart desperately urging me to move forward and hold her. I stood shocked by the sheer intensity and audacity of the feelings that were raging within me. After all my wife could see what I felt for this girl in my eyes, as if I were transparent and she could even see my bare soul melting in the warmth of my love for this girl. She and I both knew that my love for her had changed, that our lives together would never be the same.
As I gazed in her tiny clear eyes, i lost all connection with my worldly presence. As if I did not exist anymore, my existence had somehow merged with this little woman. I knew at that moment that my joys , my sorrows , my dreams, my nightmares, my hopes and my prayers had somehow eternally entangled themselves in each breath that this little lady took. Irrespective of whether she loved me back or not I was willing to love this woman for all her life and beyond. It was love at first sight, as a magical force pushed me to lift her up and pull her close. Wrapped in the most simplest of attire’s I was intoxicated by the strange sweet smell that swathe her presence. Unable to control, I gently placed my lips on her tender skin and felt the warmth of my true love’s first kiss. Her fidgety hands gently caressed my face as if signaling her acceptance of my love. I could even feel her little heart thumping at a feverish pace as if she felt the same emotions that I did. It was truly stuff of dreams, no matter what words I choose, I am sure that description would still do injustice to the allure of that moment.
Ever since that day, her every breath has been my love song, her each day has been a love story and her every word the most romantic of poetry’s I have ever heard. As I see her grow every day I plunge into a pool of new and strange emotions, my life experiences all its trough’s and peak’s through her rise and fall. While I have no doubt that I want her to grow up and become the wonderful person she deserves to be, yet at the same time in a weird way I wish that time passes slowly. As I want to be able to hold her in my arms all my life, kiss her whenever I feel like, lift her and see her smile without any fear. My love affair has a million moments worth of joy in every moment, but like in every other love story there are fears. I fear that when she grows up, she might grow fond of other things and other people, I fear she might not love me as much, I fear she might not need me as much, she might not want me to help her make all her decisions, but most of all I fear that she will have to leave me someday. I hate thinking about these fears and having blocked them from my conscious mind I cherish every passing moment.
The letter she sent me was written almost thirty days after I left her with her mother, for one long year. Although I talk to her every day; she tells me all her stories, she tells me what happened at school and I tell her what happened at work, I keep telling her how much I miss her, but I have failed to say anything as sweet and as loving and as powerful as the letter she sent me. Reading it was a confirmation that there is nothing more inspiring than true love.
I realized that there is nothing more beautiful, more powerful more majestic, and more intense than a man’s love for his daughter. I might have loved many people in my life, but no one would ever come close to what I feel for her. She is my pride, my honor, my heart and my soul. I write today out of pure desperation to satisfy feelings that her written words have stirred up in me. I am sure that she will someday come across this post while going through her old man’s old books and papers. I wish she understand then, that no one in this world could ever love her as much, from the day that she was born till the day that I die and even beyond.
P.S Happy Birthday My Little Princess, I love you and I Miss you.