I am a father, dwarfed by immense consequence of a task dispensed to me by nature. A seemingly mundane routine instinctively undertaken by our species for millions of years is still shrouded in layers of consequential complexities. Correlation between what I do now and what my child does years from now sends shivers down my spine. Potential of these little creatures silently growing in our homes alternates between invincibility and insignificance. Weather your child spends his life as a zombie grinding in pursuit of worldly desires or becomes an immortal re-shaping the destiny of mankind will largely depend on you.
I refuse to believe that fate of my offspring rest in the hands of a genetic lottery. I argue that there is a lot more to the story of our brood then mere genetics. These seemingly innocuous beings that roam around our lives are like the most sophisticated sensors deployed in our homes. Sensors so advance, that they detect and process the minutest changes in our behavior. Streams of our behavioral inputs are recorded deep inside their memory and frequently referenced while defining future behavioral responses. Some such impulses get so deeply embedded within their core memory that behavioral limitations and preferences are created forever. Linkages between deviant behavior and abusive childhood of violent criminals are well documented; they offer an insight into the impact of parenting during formative years.
Your child is what every self-learning artificial intelligence plans to imitate. It feeds on every sensory input it receives, consciously and subconsciously, redefining its behavioral algorithm along the way. It makes logic models based on whatever it receives from the environment it breaths in. These logic models then form the core of its future aspirations and are known as dreams. It is these dreams that define what he achieves in life.
Unfortunately, as parents we underestimate the marvel of something so capable yet mysterious beyond our comprehension. We see them with our own perceptional limitations thus end up belittling their potential to triviality. It’s like a prisoners dilemma of its own; a dilemma where a child born in prison giving birth to another child in prison would radiate dreams of happiness within the prison – not outside it. We are also prisoners, not of a tyrannous political, international conspiracy as the popular believe would claim but instead prisoners to our un-imaginativeness. We are slaves to our mediocrity; we have been so ordinary for so long that we are incapable of providing behavioral inputs needed by our child to become extra ordinary. In turn we flood our child’s fancy with mixed signals and meaningless goals of happiness in shackles. Ironically, these sensory predators are excellent in homing on to the contradictions between what we preach and what we do. Thus, it is not what we say but what we do that matters.
For years we have lulled ourselves to sleep with hopes of a better future; passing the onus of responsibility to the next generation. But future holds no pleasant surprises unless we shape the present. In fact, the longevity of our age may allow us to witness our failures within our own life time. A sad spectacle swathed in harsh undertones of powerlessness and regret. Realistically, we cannot hope that chapters on character and ethics in a book could make our child honorable, respectable and courageous or stories of extraordinary men of ancient times impregnate their minds with a desire to emulate such heroes. On the contrary, if our action contradicts the story we tell; then these stories will meet the same fate as that of the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause.
As we live our lives like slaves, toiling for mere survival, stories of Salah udin and Khalid would feel like fairy tales and fairy tales don’t inspire dreams – they fuel fantasies. It is not dreams that you see while you sleep but dreams that keep you awake that inspire action. Dreams empowered by the possibility of realization, cognizant of resistance that fuel progress. It is only when you strive for such dreams that your child understand the process of transforming dreams from a cognitive state to a kinetic state. Tales of Tariq crossing of the sea on a horseback narrated by a person who fails to break through the drag of daily monotony do not inspire action but seed lethargic nostalgia – a disease in itself. So while we may never get a chance to physically cross the sea on a horseback we can still set in motion dreams by crossing the gulf of our own insignificance.
The question of the right dream remains un-touched in this discourse; as parents, you are at will to choose what dreams you want to seed. Only when you realize the power that you possess, you shall understand the magnitude of your responsibility. On realizing the sanctity of the task, you may propel yourself into action that inspires your child into doing the right thing. Heroes are not beamed from heavens; its fathers like Ghazi Ertugrul that inspires conquerors like Osman.
Temporarily Numb 